This month I’m focusing on balance. In my first post, I addressed how I try to bring balance to my diet. In my second post, I shared my love of yoga. Today, I’m writing on the importance of self care.
Sorry (Not Sorry) About This Post
Self care is a term that has achieved almost cliché status in the internet age. Because of this, I hesitated to even write this post. Another thirty-something droning on about the importance of taking time for herself in the midst of a busy life. Ugh. While I’m certainly not the first person to write about and advocate for self care, my craving for it is rooted in my personal history (Is this my way of saying I was interested in self care long before the internet made it a thing? Maybe.).
Before establishing a routine for self care, one must first address the hard work that comes before it. To me, self care is much more enjoyable when it follows a full day’s work. My two work role models are my grandfather, Boomps, and my mom. Boomps cursed idleness and relished in a job well done. According to family lore, he started working at two-years-old selling popcorn outside of the local hardware store. While my mom wasn’t working as a toddler, she always impressed upon me the importance of hard work and dedication toward a task.
My mom was also my role model for self care (even before it was called that). She is a relentless perfectionist and will not quit a job until it’s entirely finished. When she came home from work, however, she had no problem watching movies or reading (while enjoying animal crackers). As simple as this may seem, I think it was her version of self care; the indispensable time we need to recharge before our next round of responsibilities (or “adulting” in the parlance of our times). For me, in order for self care to have the desired restorative effect, it must follow extremely hard work. This mindset not only makes the ultimate relaxation more pleasurable, but it also helps me to keep working toward my goals.
Let Go of Guilt
I’ve always loved getting up early and crossing things off my to-do list. When I cross everything off, however, I look forward to relaxing. Taking time for oneself is oftentimes associated with guilt and anxiety. I should, I need, and I have to thoughts become refrains whenever you sit down. As difficult as it is to push these thoughts aside, it must be done.
My time spent on self care is just as important as my time fully committed to my work. In fact, balancing the two is essential for my mental health. Self care, therefore, is not just a buzzword made popular through blogs and women’s magazines, but is something that must be consciously chosen and committed to in order to maintain balance and mental health.
How I Engage in Self Care
Self care does not mean spending loads on massages and spa treatments. Self care is a personal routine that is tailored to your needs, personality, and lifestyle. I’ve curated my self care routine over the years, and my needs are relatively simple.
Manicures
While I was in college, one of my professors made us make a commitment to self care as part of our coursework. She assigned us time for ourselves each week to stave off burnout and bitterness. I adopted bi-weekly manicures as my first form of self care in 2006 and I have continued the tradition ever since.
Celebrations Big and Small
In previous posts I’ve expressed my love of “things to look forward to.” While sometimes I’m looking forward to a weekend away, even the smallest things can give me a boost. Recently, for example, I’ve been really excited about Valentine’s Day. Sal and I plan to cook at home, drink wine, and do a puzzle.
Daily Routine
I am driven by my routine and it makes me feel good to follow it. While I love getting away or doing something special, I’m happiest when I stick to my schedule. Part of practicing self care is developing a self-awareness. I’m the type of person who thrives on routine and predictability, so rather than try and change my disposition, I embrace it.
Cooking
To some, cooking may seem like a chore. To me, however, it’s very relaxing. I love the challenge of trying new recipes and the satisfaction of putting a delicious meal on the table. The only downside is doing dishes. Otherwise, I’m content to spend my evenings in the kitchen, even after a long day at work.
Nickie Time
This is the unstructured and unplanned element of self care. It can mean an hour of Top Chef, scrolling midlessly through Instagram, or reading a book. While these are not things I need to live, they are small moments in the day where I can relax my mind. I love going at one hundred percent, but I cannot do that without a break. It’s important for me to maintain balance, and spending a few minutes doing nothing is sometimes just what I need to refocus and prepare for the next task.
Why Self Care Matters
I may not have invented self care, but I certainly emphasize its importance in my daily life and routine. It’s very easy to get caught up in work and other adult responsibilities. When this happens, focus on oneself can easily get lost or cast aside. I find my life is balanced, happier, and healthier when I take a few moments each day for self care, even if it means being a little less productive or even being a little selfish.
Selfish typically has a negative connotation, but in the realm of self care, selfishness is necessary. This month I’ve focused on how I can balance my life and much of that means focusing on things that are good for me and make me happy. While this, at first, appears selfish, it actually allows me to be more selfless. When I’m feeling balanced and complete, I’m able to focus more on others. The result is a kinder, more thoughtful, and more inspired me.
Angela says
We are so busy and Incompletely agree. From manicures to a new book finding your comfort zone is crucial. Thanks for the reminder.
Nickie says
Thanks, Angela! I think it truly is so hard to take time for ourselves, especially when trying to balance work, family, and everything else life throws at you!
Cindy says
That’s a good practice to follow! Thanks for sharing some tips!👩🏼🍳 I always found riding relaxing and refreshing because you had to clear your mind and only concentrate on the task at hand.🏇🏼
Nickie says
Thanks, Cindy! I think everyone has a special something that helps them relax and recharge.